29th April 1976
Just the one Beatles single clinging on to the top thirty for dear life (Hey Jude at number 18) while the BBC4 scissors deprive us of Gladys Knight & The Pips (to be seen in a few weeks), Silver Convention (lost in the mists of time) and the last ever Pan's People performance, dancing to The Four Seasons. Last ever? Apparently so, although this is not mentioned by our friend and host Toe Knee Black Burn.
Slik - "Requiem"
A Let Loose to the Bay City Rollers' Take That, Glaswegian quartet Slik had scored a number 1 hit with Forever And Ever, written by erstwhile Rollers tunesmiths Bill Martin and Phil Coulter. The follow-up single is appropriately doom-laden for the first minute until the inappropriately jaunty chorus kicks in. Lead singer James Ure appears to have a hard-to-shift teardrop running down his cheek in the opening shot, or has he been sticking sellotape to his face? And yes, that's right, it really is this James Ure.
Paul Nicholas - "Reggae Like It Used To Be" (#29)
"Look at this silly hat," commands Blackburn, turning to a young lady beside him (who is indeed sporting a ludicrous titfer), although his comment could equally be directed at TV's Paul Nicholas, still looking like a Clockwork Orange reject and claiming to have reggae while showing no sign of possessing anything even vaguely ska-like. "Well, you can reggae Beethoven," claims Nicholas, incorrectly, "but give me reggae like it used to be." Even Tony is moved to comment "Don't remember reggae like that, do you?" with a suitably cheeky grin.
Andrea True Connection - "More More More" (#17)
And so, for the very last time (thanks to the BBC4 scissors), Pan's People take to the stage to twirl and gyrate in bikinis and grass skirts inside what seems to be a bamboo prison. No reason for, or indeed advance notice of the ladies' departure is given (unless it's in the bit that's been cut out), they just suddenly weren't there next week. A disappointing whimper of an exit, considering that the troupe had been so successful they'd even released a single in their own right in 1974. As for Andrea True... well, we'll come to her in a week or two.
Electric Light Orchestra - "Nightrider"
Jeff Lynne's ELO had achieved five top thirty hits by this stage, including their previous release Evil Woman which had reached number 10. Their next single Strange Magic would reach number 38. This one did absolutely nothing, despite being no worse than either. At least David Hasselhoff is not present. This performance also marks the last time Jeff Lynne was ever seen in public without sunglasses.
Diana Ross - "Love Hangover" (#24)
Miss Ross has two singles in the chart this week, but Theme From Mahogany is going down the charts and is therefore ineligible for inclusion, so here's the other one. Once it gets going it's a far more uptempo offering, although it still rather sounds like two different songs welded together. Diana is still seemingly unable to lip-synch, so the promo clip consists of her twirling and looking at stuff in various outfits - rather like Pan's People in fact. This would reach as high as number 10, while the song returned to the charts in 1982 thanks to a baffling cover by The Associates.
Laurie Lingo & The Dipsticks - "Convoy GB" (#14)
The repeat run of TOTP started two weeks after CW McCall's Convoy peaked at number 2 in the UK charts, meaning that this bizarre offering arrives completely devoid of any context. The original is a song about American truckers using CB radio to organise a convoy of trucks in order to protest about whatever it is that American truckers like to protest about. This British remake strips away all the glamour (such as it was) of the US version, the smooth tones of CW McCall replaced by the scratchy "Scouse" accent of... well, let's be frank, Dave Lee Travis. He may be wearing a mask but it's clearly him and his Radio 1 colleague Paul Burnett. Thankfully, unlike the US original, Convoy GB was never adapted as a movie. Having said that, Burnett had a minor hit in 1985 with a Rambo spoof Rugged And Mean, Butch And On-Screen, which is so awful nobody has uploaded it to YouTube.
Eric Carmen - "All By Myself" (#13)
From the ridiculous to the slightly less ridiculous, here's Eric again, backlit this time which gives his enormous hair the appearance of a solar eclipse. Although this single only reached number 12, it remains an overwrought, hand-wringing classic; Celine Dion managed to take it as high as number 6 in 1996, while Carmen would return to the chart in 1988 with Hungry Eyes, thanks to its inclusion on the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.
Bellamy Brothers - "Let Your Love Flow" (#28)
Now best known for its use in the Barclaycard waterslide advert, this was the first of three UK hits for the Bellamy Brothers, Howard and David - sadly, and despite the best efforts of many late '70s humourists, not the famous TV botanist. The Brothers aren't in the studio, but are represented by a murky promo clip of the two Bellamys miming away in a darkened room with a guitar each, a microphone each and absolutely nothing else. This was an American number 1 and would go on to reach number 7 over here; it also returned to the chart in 2008 on the back of the aforementioned TV commercial, making number 21 on that occasion.
Brotherhood Of Man - "Save Your Kisses For Me" (#1)
Oh no, not again. A sixth and final week at the top for the 'Hood, but they'll be back, albeit not as quickly as they might like. The Primark Abba would return to number 1 in 1977 with Angelo, a song not in any way influenced by Abba's Fernando. Oooh no.
The Stylistics - "Can't Help Falling In Love" (#20)
Next week this will be the song that introduces the world to Pan's People's replacements Ruby Flipper. Be afraid.